Round Table Tuesday – 10/7

Tags

advocates, intimate partner violence, rape, round table, SAS, sexual assault, sexual assault services

We had another great round table this  Tuesday, where we had Sexual Assault Services  (SAS) come and talk with us about the Red Flag Campaign, and the services that are provided throughout the college.

People had some great questions about consent, and raised some great points about how culturally there is a great impact on how we interact with one another sexually. There was a lot of focus on how “no” is not usually the stopping point, but the beginning of a negotiation, and how problematic that becomes, especially when people get worn down, and feel as though there is no other option.

All of these questions and topics were answered and further clarified by the wonderful people who came to visit from SAS. They did a great job of hosting our round table, and I know I walked away with more knowledge under my belt.

SAS Information Table

One of the biggest things I took away from this round table, is how fortunate we all are to have the support network  created by SAS.  Most institutions do not go to the lengths that these folks do in order to ensure that people get the help they need.

So here are some of  things  these amazing people do:

• Provide support whether you are in a situation yourself, or trying to be there for family or friends who are in abusive relationships, sexual assaults, stalking
• Anonymous reporting
• All services are confidential
• Always on call ( cell #, so you can text as well)
• College -Wide
• They can meet off-campus
• They will go to appointments, court, exams, etc.

They provide support when people need it the most, and are helping to ensure that survivors are aware of all of their options.  We are quite fortunate to have this level of involvement, and people who invest so much time to make sure that survivors get help, and know that they are not alone.

SAS is under the NOVA Cares services here at  NOVA.  Here is there email: nova.sas@nvcc.edu and phone: 703-338-0834

Keep your calendars open for October 21 to join SAS for the  Clothesline Project

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We are the 59%

Tags

abuse, cnn ireport, rape, sexual assault, speaking up, violence, voices, we are the 59%

We are the 59%

Trigger Alert

 This link has stories that involve sexual assault and rape. Please use your discretion when clicking the link. 

These are some very powerful stories being shared, and I have so much respect for these people. 

Article: States Where Rape is Most Common

Tags

abuse, map, rape, statistics, U.S., violence

Article: States Where Rape is Most Common

 This article provides a map, indicating what states have the highest and lowest rates of rape. It is fascinating to look at it, and I think it is raises more questions than answers.  Geographically looking at some of the highest rates, it makes you wonder about both the economic  state of these places as well as the culture. 

Take  a look for yourself and share your thoughts!

The Rape Epidemic in Alaska

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Alaska, Epidemic Rape, John D. Sutter, rape, Rape Treatment, violence

 A couple of years ago I watched a Frontline Documentary about the rape of what was basically a generation of students by missionaries. I believe they were attending schools that were established at the time. It was a very hard film to watch, I am pretty sure that I left during part of it. 

Well, the other day I ran across this article that looked at why there is such an epidemic of rape in Alaska.  This is not a new problem, it is one that seems to be deeply entrenched in the culture, and left deep scars in both the victims and the communities. 

John D. Sutter is the reporter who went and spent two weeks questioning folks and getting an idea of what it is like some of these remote areas that can be completely closed off from the rest of society during the harsh winters.  It seems as though most people agree that the long and harsh winters, with minimal daylight, and the isolation from authorities plays a factor in how these crimes can be committed with such frequency, and how it impacts heavily on a crime that is already grossly under-reported. 

Sutter primarily focuses on a family where the  step-father  abused his step-daughter, and now that he is out of prison, he is doing a treatment program that involves both his wife and step-daughter. When I first saw this it left me with an uneasy feeling, mostly because I wonder if that re-traumatizes her, but as you read through there seems to be an element that usually is missing in these cases of abuse.  The step-father cannot help be accountable for his actions, there is a lack of victim blaming in this treatment because he is faced with the fact that he abused someone who he was supposed to care for, and keep safe.  As he talks about his own history of abuse, the idea of how common and entrenched this is slaps you in face.  It is not an excuse, but it shows how a young mind was distorted and taught how to abuse and that it was o.k.  No one ever held him accountable, so why would he think it was wrong as he got older?  This bothers me, because people had the chance to change something and prevent others from having to go through the same thing, and nothing was done.  Cultural beliefs, and social views of men being more important play heavily into how these horrific acts were shrugged off, which leads to more and more victims because there are few willing to listen to those who actually speak up.  Let me be clear I do not think this indicative of just Alaska, I think it is a indicative of a prevailing world culture where women and children are there, sometimes seen as  burden, sometimes seen as property, and always the last ones to be taken care of. 

I think the article is great and that it should be looked at. The treatment they have is not perfect, but it providing a solution when there is usually not one. This treatment also questions the attacker, instead of questioning the victim.  The responsibility is placed on them, and the choices they made.  I honestly do think more dialogue with abusers is something that needs to be done, figure the why, and put it on them, rather than always making the victim the responsible one.

 

Here is the article: http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2014/02/opinion/sutter-change-alaska-rape/index.html?hpt=hp_t2&nbd=5_things

We Can Do Better

Tags

abuse, domestic violence, gender, institutions, Jackson Katz, leadership, rape

This video has been out for a bit, but I still think it is something that is important to discuss, and will continue to be important to discuss for quite sometime.   Jackson Katz brings up a point that I think a lot of people who are close to domestic, sexual, and relationship violence, have muddled with over and over again: Why is this solely on me? Why is the perpetrator not even mentioned? Why are my actions/history being questioned? Notice where all the focus is not being directed?

He helps present some clarity to why this happens, but also addresses steps to fixing it, which seems to be a rarity as of late. He openly states how pervasive victim blaming is in our society.  I know there are so many critics who hate that term, but I would like to ask, what else would you like to call it when someone is attacked, and then they are asked a plethora of questions to figure out what they were doing to attract this negative (violent)  attention.   

Katz made my day by using sentence structure to demonstrate how men are often erased from the discussion, and thus placing the responsibility on the victim.   He writes out five sentences: 

“John beat Mary”

“Mary was beaten by John”

“Mary was beaten”

“Mary was battered”

“Mary is a battered woman”

This reminds me of a poetry workshop, where a professor said, when you try to convey your message, make sure you are using the words effectively. If you can make a situation active, do so, by making it passive you take away some of the importance or shift the meaning behind what was intended.  What Katz is writing is not poetry, but the same could be said here.  With both our language, and the way we discuss things, we have changed John into an obsolete figure. By the time we get down to the end of the examples, we could ask, “John who?” 

He also discusses the role institutions play in the overarching societal issue of sexual violence. I took a class on this, and the anecdotes were chilling and horrifying, especially when you read about the people who knew what was going on, and the pains that were taken to cover up these awful happenings.  Wouldn’t it be easier and better for society as a whole if we held people accountable and changed the way we talk, examine, and deal with these tragedies?

Katz called the role institutions play, a “leadership problem”, which is quite genius.  I am inclined to agree with him. There is a lack of leadership, of strong people in positions of power saying, “This is wrong.” Instead, we often they see them taking care of one another and trying to hide these horrible things that happen. It is apparent that they KNOW something is wrong, otherwise they would not go to the lengths they do in order to cover it up. 

I like that he encourages us to work together to bring about change, and how he points out how our actions do indeed play an important role in the youths that witness these actions.  

Overall, I think this was a wonderful piece, and hopefully it will inspire some people to lead. 

 

Against His Will – CNN article by Sarah LeTrent

Tags

chris brown, cnn, men, rape, sexual assault, violence, women

Last week CNN featured a surprising article by Sara LeTrent on the little talked about subject of female on male rape. I think the article was a good step for many reasons: it discussed something that is usually ignored and ridiculed; it indeed stated that it is something that happens, not some slanderous myth from jaded men, and once again it was discussed (not discussing is what we as a society have been doing for a very long time, and we have seen where that has gotten us).

The article even featured a male survivor who shared his story, and how he struggled to come to terms with what happened to him, as well as his journey forward, which involves helping others come to terms with their own trauma.

I must say that the article surprised me with how it brought up Chris Brown and his interview where he talked about his own early sexual experiences. Sarah LeTrent highlights how this often seen as a conquest, something men are to be proud of, because it shows their sexual prowess at such a young age.  

LeTrent made a lot of pertinent points,  however I do disagree with this statement, “Were you aroused?’  is a question posed to male victims, St. John says. ‘You don’t hear it with female rape victims. It’s an interesting question that men get asked.”   Women face those same questions, and I think it is an irrelevant question.  At the heart of the issue are people who feel like they are entitled to others bodies, regardless of gender, and blatantly ignoring consent. 

Here is the article  to read it first hand:

http://www.cnn.com/2013/10/09/living/chris-brown-female-on-male-rape/index.html?hpt=hp_t3